Sunday, December 6, 2009

Judgment day

Nooo, this is not a religious post!  It's some thoughts about judgment.  I know we're all guilty of judging from time to time, but we should really probably try to stop.

I know I have certainly felt the judgmental sting before.  Sometimes it's in the form of a backhanded compliment.  Somebody is jealous or self-conscious, so they lash out at what they envy about you.  I've been hated on for being thin, pretty, smart, self-confident, young, having good teeth... pretty much anything you could think of!  I realize that it's because of the other person's view of themselves, but I still don't think that should give them the right to push that off onto me.  It's inappropriate and awkward.

People judge others based on their political views, what they eat, the habits they keep, sexual orientation, etc.  A friend's mom judged him every time he slept in as a teenager.  What teenager doesn't sleep in on the weekends?!  She claimed that only low-life bums slept past 9.  Conservatives hate on liberals, liberals hate on conservatives.  I had a co-worker say that he'd never hit his wife, but if she announced they were going vegetarian, he would probably smack her and lock her out of the house.  Uhhh, WOOOOW!

Then there's all the judgment of total strangers.  We can honestly say that we don't know a thing about the person, but we could probably create a list of what we think we know about them.  It would likely include a list of things that cannot be known from the outside, like intelligence, personal beliefs, lifestyle, religious views, native language, etc.

People judge what makes them uncomfortable and those who are different from them.  Honestly though, it says more about the judger than the judgee.  It speaks to their beliefs, their comfort level, their prejudices, and often those traits that they dislike the most in themselves.  I think the solution lies in being kinder.  We need to be kinder to ourselves and that, in turn, should help us be kinder to others.  We all have our struggles and our victories.

What traits in yourself have been judged by others?  What do you often find yourself judging about other people?


Gena said...

Very thoughtful post! I agree that so much judgment merely stems from feelings of discomfort, or being threatened. Certainly any judgment I've gotten about my diet comes from an insecure place.

Trail said...

Thank you so much Gena! I really appreciate your feedback on this, especially since I'm new to making a diet transition. You've been very inspiring as I take those baby steps toward a healthier lifestyle!